Fear is one of the universal emotions. It underlies a lot of our behavior and it is very useful in allowing us to survive. Sometimes, though, it becomes a hindrance to our success.
One of our most common fears is the fear of rejection, be that rejection by a potential date, employer, or a graduate program we apply to. You know what is the worse thing you can do? Give into your fear and do nothing. It is better to try and fail than to never try. Through your tries, you will learn and become better and better until you reach your goal. Doing nothing just enforces your fear and makes you settle. It is much easier and more comfortable than taking a leap of faith.
And yes, it is easier for some people than others. Some are raised to be fearless, or are naturally great at it. BUT Most of us are not!
And it is scary to raise your hand in a 600 people lecture to ask a questions, but you know what? You will be so proud of yourself after!
And maybe it’s scary to appear not smart, or quirky, or weird by being proactive. BUT Who cares about what some people will think? Most will be impressed with how brave you are. And you will be so impressed and proud of yourself as well.
Force yourself to be proactive, even when you don’t want to, even when it’s so hard and scary and even when you have been rejected before. There is not limit to our ability. Yes you can be an amazing doctor, or have a phD, or have a high paying job you love, and be in an amazing relationship. The only thing stopping you is fear.
Let’s read this inspirational story of world famous psychologist, Albert Ellis.
“ During his early adolescence, Dr. Ellis spent much time reading books in Bronx Botanical Gardens. Sitting alone on park benches, he would notice females from afar and agonize about approaching them. To his great dismay, he never approached any of them! Turns out, Dr. Ellis experienced crippling social anxiety in the romantic realm. He feared rejection by females that he was interested in pursuing and had insight into the limitations this fear imposed on him. So…what’s a guy who fears rejection to do?
During the month of August before his senior year of college, Dr. Ellis set out to overcome his social anxiety. The task — visits to the Botanical Gardens where he would set out to approach females! Young, old, tall, short, all of them! No matter how anxious he was feeling, he would make himself talk to females in the garden.
Dr. Ellis approached 130 women that summer! About 30 of them walked away at contact! He spoke in varied lengths to the remaining 100 about a number of diverse topics. Of the ones he spoke to, only one agreed to go out with him. Dr. Ellis was freed from his crippling social anxiety. “